Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Home coming

I've been gone a week (a frustrating, but ultimately productive week) and yesterday I drove 10 hours to get home. And now I am facing that perpetual internal conflict I feel upon returning from a "work" trip. I am reinvigorated about my research, anxious to analyze the new data, excited to investigate some provocative new threads. But I am also happy to be at home in my own bed, walking my dog, doing the laundry and grocery shopping, and otherwise just enjoying a return to normalcy. But if I enjoy the normalcy for too long (and I don't know how long that is), I lose the reinvigorating effect of the trip. You might think that one day off after working 9 days straight would not be such a bad thing, but maybe it is...and I feel like it's a microcosm for my bigger struggle to figure out how to be a cutting-edge productive scientist (like I know I want to be) but also a good wife, mom, and happy person (like I know I want to be). So what do I do? Well, right now the sky is blue, the dog is happy to see me, and being a person outside walking their dog in the middle of the afternoon beats sitting in front of the computer and analyzing data. So out I go...

1 comment:

Writer Chica said...

I am also finding it hard to stay invigorated about my work, aka my writing, without losing touch with my day-to-day life and vice versa. One day of non-writing goes by and suddenly it is a week later and I haven't written a drip. But I am also afraid that I'll become a reading/writing maniac and suddenly my boy will be taller than me. Maybe that is why it is taking longer for my writing career to develop. I just keep trying. And I think about "having it all", but not all at once. I struggle daily.